How do you help clients improve their self-esteem?

Written by Tasha D. Manigo-Bizzell, owner of Muse Wellness Company

Unhealthy self-esteem is closely linked to an unhealthy addiction to perfectionism. This addiction breeds more insecurity, which further decimates self-esteem. Many have watched others endure great stress to be perfect, only to discover perfection only exists behind rose-colored glasses.


One unique approach to building self-esteem is showing clients how to embrace their imperfections and be perfectly imperfect. Because everyone has things they do not particularly like about themselves, the key is to acknowledge, not fixate, on those things and focus, instead, on turning them into gifts.



It is incredible how many negative messages people allow to occupy their headspace compared to positive. To help clients shift their perceptions, it is useful to introduce the four pillars of mindset that influence self-confidence: feel, think, believe, and know. The four pillars of mindset suggest that feelings inform thought; thoughts influence beliefs; and beliefs are at the core of one’s knowledge. In order to transform a negative mindset, it may be necessary to do the work of transforming each pillar. An integral component of high self-esteem is intrinsically feeling, thinking, believing, and knowing self-worth and allowing it to guide every decision. Let’s explore each pillar.


Feelings are one’s gut instinct, intuition, or sixth sense about something. Feelings cannot always be explained, but they can be changed. Feelings are essentially a visceral response that shapes initial understanding.


Thinking represents possibilities and they are limited when thinking is small. To think anything, good or bad, makes it possible for it to come to pass.


People only believe what makes sense to them. A person will likely not believe what they cannot rationalize. In order to achieve higher self-esteem, it is sometimes necessary to suspend reality and let imagination rule. To believe the best about one’s self is paramount.


When people know something, they have made a decision to believe it. It is a choice to take feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and knowledge and act on it.


Commanding all of these pillars will allow those with low self-esteem to find that they are great, worthy, and loved. How people see themselves is an important part of self-esteem, which is an important part of health. Therefore, what people think of themselves greatly impacts overall well-being. In order to be healthy, self-hatred is unacceptable. Positivity is the crux of healthy self-esteem. Feelings, thoughts, and beliefs can be changed. Loving the totality of one’s self is the key to improving self-esteem and health.

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